Indianucky or Kentuckiana?

I'm dividing my time these days between Southern Indiana and Owensboro, KY. Recently I started working with a radio station in Owensboro and I absolutely love it.

The kids and I have settled into Indiana really well. Spring is here and it seems as though life is beginning to calm down. Well, sort of. Ha!

The girls are in the high school production of Wizard of Oz. They are both munchkins and jitterbugs. Their opening night is tonight. I've been dividing my time between children, work and painting sets for the play. I painted about 100 feet of Yellow Brick Road one night. ACK!

Jon and I are doing well. Still friends, nothing more, but in some respects, I think that's better for now. We've had a few nights out, and a few nights in... but overall, when we do go anywhere, he introduces me as "his best friend in the entire world"... and when other people assume I'm his "old lady", he doesn't correct them. At this point, I'm just thrilled to be able to hang out with him so much more. Everyone knows by the look on my face that I love the man, and I'm fairly sure it's apparent in his eyes too that he loves me. But officially, we're friends.

I ended up having a long heart to heart a few weeks back with his stepmother, though that was an unintentional conversation. She started it. LOL... but it was something that made me really appreciate her for noticing... and I have to admit that I love living in Indiana. The kids enjoy their school and their new friends. They're happy and I am happy because I love my job and I feel like for the first time in years I have the opportunity to really be financially secure again. Including roots being put down.

Jon and I went out Tuesday night for a little bit, I had been all tuckered out with Wizard of Oz practice and he offered to take me out for a couple drinks. I was TOTALLY game! I had been at this job long enough that we hadn't seen much of each other for a while and it was nice to catch up.

I had put in an offer on a house in Christmas Lake Village, and had found out earlier in the day that the owner liked my offer but had been relocated BACK to the area, so he was going to move back into that house himself again. I was bummed, but mentioned that I guess things just worked out the way they were supposed to. When I told Jon about not getting the house, he just told me to be patient and that he knew how badly I wanted to settle into something, but that I was doing everything right to work towards my goals, and eventually it would all work out.

Even though I know I'm doing everything "right", it was really nice to hear it from someone else, and even better for that someone else to be him while he was sitting next to me and looking me in the eyes and touching my arm. Kind of made me almost a bit teary eyed.

The other thing we talked about, aside from our constant state of "friendship", was his dad. Jon mentioned that his father took up the cause for me earlier in the week, even without my knowledge. I ran into his dad at Jon's house when I was dropping off pet store supplies I picked up for him on the way out of town, and his father noticed... and while dropping it off, I caught a little sideways grin/smirk from Jon's face as well.

After I left, they had a little conversation about me that went along the lines of Jon's dad telling him, "You'd better treat that girl right. She's a good one." and "Don't mess that up" and "We like her and the kids a lot"... among other compliments. I believe he mentioned that his father said "She really cares for you a lot" in there too. Again, plain to see and anyone who talks to me will end up getting an earful of how much I love that man eventually... but it was really nice 1. for his dad to say it and 2. for him to tell me all the good things his dad had to say about me.

I got a vote of approval from the parental units.

I'm really happy about that.

Jon and I also had a wonderful night together, curling up again with one another, even shared a quick kiss. Those have gotten more frequent in the past few weeks.

This very slow advancement of our relationship status is absolutely a-ok with me. I know he's my best friend and I am his. I know I love him and he loves me. What else could I possibly need? Nothing, really... the only thing I want is to be able to yell it from the rooftops that he's MINE. That can be an eventual thing... I'm proud to love him, and all I want to do is begin to build our family unit together. Begin to build our future together. And I know that's exactly what we're currently doing by moving very slow through this. I am happy about it.

So tonight I am going to watch my girls perform in the Wizard of Oz, and a part of me will smile to think about how after three years of wanting to live in this area, I finally clicked my ruby red heels three times... and I am now home.

I believe in Santa Claus.

I believe in Santa Claus. My gift arrived about a week after Christmas. Though the first part arrived in a conversation with Jon, when he called me to excitedly let me know that he got laid off from the job he hated. He was so happy that he was going to be heading home, but had considered driving south (I missed the first call) to Fort Lauderdale to come see me first since he had a few extra days. By the time I had called him back a couple hours later, he was already heading north.

That opened the door to a new conversation.

To sum it up: No job keeping him away. He's living back in Indiana. He's near his kids, with a union job coming up in late February/early March. This all happened SIX months after our conversation this summer (I found that funny after re-reading the blogs that kept pointing to a six month window). He called me to tell me things had changed. I was blown away.

I had just been talking/bitching to some friends about the cost of living down here in South Florida, with all the kids and I had recently taken a tour of local middle schools. I wasn't particularly impressed with what I saw. Anyway, I spent the better part of New Years Eve on the phone with Jon, talking about life.

We talked about how I had dated someone but it just didn't feel right and I had called it off. We talked about the pretty young girls hitting on him at the bar, and how he said that although it was flattering, he had nothing in common with them past a bottle of beer. We both agreed that dating other people was not working because they didn't even pale in comparison to the relationship/feelings we have had.

I'm not quite sure how we ended up on the topic, but he shared the cost of living in Indiana with me again, then I started asking a ton more questions about all the bills he had, on average what they cost... and my mind was off to the races computing financial savings. As it turns out, I pay almost $1000 more a month to live in South Florida.

After mentioning this to him and saying that it was crazy how much things cost down here, he said, "Well, you can always come to Indiana".

I paused, then asked him if he still felt the same way about me. If he still loved me. His response was "I always have loved you and I always will". I told him I still felt the same way too.

Then, it was me who started putting up reasons why I could not move to Indiana. Starting with, I just moved to Florida and the costs of a moving truck are prohibitive. He met that quickly with, "Well, you know, you have this guy up here who has an Escalade and a 16' Trailer who is currently unemployed and wouldn't mind a drive down to Florida to help you move". Yes, he offered to move me and my children to Indiana. When I inquired about paying for his gas, he chuckled and said, "You and I can come to some sort of trade agreement".

I told him I needed to think about it because I didn't want to rush into anything and that I wanted to see what the kids thought, talk to their father and just generally not make a snap decision. I wanted to wait and think it through. He said the offer to move us was good for as long as he was able to make the drive. So, indefinitely.

I thought about it. And thought about it. Mentioned it to the kids again, at potentially looking at moving back north a bit- either Indiana or just outside Nashville. What I love about Indiana is that it's so close, yet so far away. There's the ability to go into town and make it a day trip, but also so far removed from city life, that it's just simple small town living that I love.

I wanted to see if I still liked the town. I wanted to talk to him face to face about things before I made a decision. I was going into this quite guarded - as I didn't feel like re-hashing this summer's heartache. So, I loaded up the kids and we took off, for what we thought would be a quick trip to Indiana and Nashville.

I didn't really tell anyone I was going. I didn't want outside influences coloring my opinion on the way there. I just wanted to go, let the kids see it for themselves, see what was available in the area, tour the school with them and see if they enjoyed it. That was my first priority. I didn't even tell Jon that I was coming into town. My first thought was to get a motel room in the area because I didn't want to have him color my opinion any further either.

Once we arrived in Santa Claus, I found the way to his place and his car was there. I had tried calling, but got no answer, so I decided to park the car and knock on the door. The look of surprise on his face was priceless. I asked him to please point me in the direction of the nearest hotel/motel so that I could unpack the kids and their stuff and then figure out dinner and meeting up with Rhonda or Tammy (my girlfriends who live in the town).

It was bitterly cold outside and he ushered us all in to sit and hang out for a bit. I didn't know, but Farrah and Cody were over hanging out with him, so our kids finally met too. They played video games in the back room for quite a while and got along great.

I mentioned that it was getting later and I needed to get the hotel room, and he said that we were absolutely welcome to stay there instead, because he had plenty of sofa space and even had an extra air mattress so that no one had to sleep on the floor. I was still lobbying for the hotel, but he mentioned that there were two places in town- one being Santa's Lodge (aka a tourist trap with tourist trap pricing) and the motel that even he would not sleep at.

So, staying with him suddenly made more sense. I sprung for dinner for all of us - pizza from the local pizza place and we had a fun night together. He took the kids back to their mom's house and then we had a chance to sit together and talk a bit.

I told him that I was considering moving to Indiana, but that I wanted to check it out and see what the kids thought first. I apologized for the lack of notice, but I wanted to do it while they were still on vacation and have them only miss one or two days tops going back.

We set up the air mattress and I tucked the kids in, while we were still talking. I went back to his room with him to continue the conversation while they settled in. We curled up together and he just hugged me while my head was nestled in his shoulder. He told me he missed me and kissed my forehead.

I remember thinking at that very moment, that I wanted to stay right there in his arms for the rest of my life. It was just such a perfect fit, so comfortable and so familiar. So loving.

Despite wanting to talk about the potential of the move a little bit more, I just closed my eyes and fell asleep.

I got up the next morning and the kids were already hungry. Jon had his kitchen ripped apart (quite literally- no cabinets, sink, etc. because he was remodeling it) so I whispered to him that I was going to leave for a bit, get them food and then look at properties and the school. He was half asleep and said okay.

We ate at Subway (for breakfast!) and then started looking at properties in the area. Trying to find a place to rent that we liked, or a house that would consider a lease option, etc. We toured several houses. We then went to the school and got a tour from the receptionist. The kids all agreed that they liked the school and the town. Especially Holiday World... a local amusement park right there in town.

We went back to Jon's and I mentioned that there wasn't a lot available for rent, so my main option was going to rest in the hands of if any of the houses we liked would consider a lease option. He mentioned his dad having a place to rent in the next town over, but it was in a different elementary school (same middle and high schools) so I dismissed the idea.

Cody was the only one who came to Jon's after school, and he stayed for dinner. We all went to a mexican restaurant in Dale, IN (just 5 minutes away by car) and we laughed and enjoyed the time that we spent time together.

I was planning on leaving that evening to head back to Nashville on the way home, stopping in to see a friend for a day then driving back. Instead, I visited with Tammy, then we went to Rhonda's house and were offered a place to crash; so we took it. I really enjoyed sitting and spending time with Rhonda and her family. The kids played so nicely together and made quick friends. It was great catching up and they were excited about the potential of me moving to town.

I left the next morning, stopping briefly for a hug at Jon's house on the way out of town. We headed to Nashville and then ended up staying there a couple extra days due to the snow and ice storm gripping the Southeast.

While in Nashville, I took the time to look around at rental costs there and availability. Even though my head and heart screamed for Indiana, I felt it was worth a look for objectivity's sake.

We arrived back home and I decided that the best decision was going to be to not make a decision and give things some time to play out. I really decided at that moment to "Let Go and Let God". Instead of rushing into anything, I was going to let the decision come to me once some time went by and I could gather a clearer, no rose-colored glasses view of the situation.

The kids resumed their normal school lives, and I checked in on occasion with the realtor that I know up there. It seemed that the one house we really liked, the guy was unwilling to lease it. So, for me, there wasn't much else and I felt like I would maintain not doing anything in the moving department.

I called my ex-husband and mentioned to him that I was considering the move, then laid out for him the reasons why I was thinking about it, but that I wanted his opinion. Since he's a more financial concerned guy, I could tell he was doing numbers in his own head. I mentioned that the schools were better, life was cheaper and that I could put away money for college rather than spending all the child support on rent and bills. Surprisingly, he was behind me 100% in favor of the move and told me that whatever I decided, I had his support because he knew I was going to act in the best interest of the kids.

I told my parents that I was considering a move, and looking at Indiana and Nashville. My mother, lobbied hard for Greenville, where they live. I told her I genuinely appreciated the thought and would consider Greenville, but that my heart didn't lead me there. I love my parents but it's time they enjoyed their own life for a while without me in their backyard. They have helped me so much over the years, and I really want them to be able to enjoy each other. Plus, being in Indiana will bring us several hours closer to them than where we live right now.

So I've thought and thought about this. And then, here's what happened. I realized my drivers license expires on my birthday (in February) and my car registration does as well. The cost to renew both in Florida would be around $400 for everything. Ouch. The cost in Indiana is around $40 for everything.

I talked to Rhonda, who mentioned a place to rent that I had looked at, and I called them back - they decided to sell vs. rent the property. I called Jon and told him that though I wanted to move there, there was just nothing to rent that I liked and he offered again that his father had a 3 bed/2 bath available for rent that wasn't anything fancy- it was clean and about 5 years old, but the bonus was that he wouldn't make me sign a lease and I could move into it while I'm looking around town and save money in the process. I told him to count on until August for now, then we'll see if we wanted to be closer to town or if we liked it there. He called his dad for details on the property, called me back and when I said it sounded good, he gave me his father's phone number and told me to call him to work things out. I have never spoken with his father before, but when I talked with him, he sounded a lot like Jon, and then had some very nice things to say about me. It was effortless. He just put a fresh coat of paint on all the walls, had made some minor repairs that needed fixing and he said that he would have everything clean and ready when I arrived if I decided to come.

Jon has offered me an affordable place to live without a long term lease and a free move. The rent is nearly $1000 less than what I'm paying here in S. Florida which will enable me to save a good amount of money. Added to that, with tax time being here again, I'm able to get the tax return and sock that money into savings as well.

Even though I try to take him out of the picture when considering the financial benefits and rural living that I enjoy, the great schools, the fresh air, the girlfriends and their kids that live there... even how close it is to Nashville (making a day trip easy)... the truth of the matter is that I want to live near him. I want to give us a chance. He's making the effort this time, he's chasing me. I'm not chasing him. He's offering to drive 15 hours in one direction to come pick up our stuff and pack us up, then turn around and drive with us back to Indiana. Through all of this, I have never asked, he has just offered and offered.

I can't think of a better "sign" to get... the one I've asked him for for the past 2 1/2 years. Actions supporting his words. I made my final decision after speaking with him and his father two nights ago. I am happy and content - and the kids are excited as well. I feel as though I've won the lottery.

So I believe in Santa Claus... Santa Claus, Indiana.