Hittin' the Road Again...

We're on our way to Greenville, SC today.

I'm not sad, not upset... not even really phased anymore. We had a decent conversation last night and just agreed to put everything on hold again. I asked him how he was able to just shut down his feelings so easily and he said that he wasn't... he was just welding his heart shut for a little bit longer because it hurt too much when it was wide open and he knew what he wanted. Go figure, and ironworker is gonna weld his heart shut. That made me laugh.

I told him I seemed to have a zipper on my scarred up heart that he was able to just open up where other people had no access. He told me there were locks for that, and I said yeah, but you hold one of the master keys to it.

In the end, with all the stuff we've both got going on, me moving anywhere, or him quitting his job and moving home right now to build that home together, just isn't an option. We'll see where life takes us in the next several months or years, or if at all. Maybe it's just one of those relationships that is doomed for bad timing right from the beginning. I hope not.

Anyway, as usual, I pick up the pieces of my heart, put it together again, and move on with my life. He's doing the same. We had a great big hug last night while talking about some of our feelings and a quick kiss before he left for work this morning.

This summer truly is one big adventure... And even though the current outcome is the same as I'm used to with Jon, the means to get here this time forged a new path and the conversations we had brought us closer. So I'm not sad, or upset, just a little bummed that we couldn't make things work this time due to life circumstances out of our control.

Now, I'm excited for the kids and I to head to see my parents. I'm searching for some cool things to do about halfway to Greenville, and I'm hoping they can find a place to dig/search for gems. If not, we'll have to do that while we're there and just drive the two hours to Franklin, NC.

At some point I'm going to have to jump back onto our planned excursion. It should work out though, I think we'll be back on schedule soon.

Anyway, thanks to all who were following my little love adventure... Now, back to the trip with the kids and me.... :)