In Greenville, SC

We arrived in Greenville, SC last night. We watched the news regarding Michael Jackson's death and Farrah Fawcett's death on ABC last night and then hit the sack. It was a pretty relaxing evening.

The drive here was fairly quick, it only took about 7 1/2 hours to get from Cobb Island, MD to Greenville. We passed through Richmond, where I pointed out to the kids that it was the capitol for the Confederacy. I tried to get them to go to Williamsburg, but I was outvoted on that front. They just wanted to get to Mema's & Pepa's house.

In the end, since it was an extra hour each way to the coast, they won.

And so I drove, with the unfolding of the Michael Jackson drama updates being texted to me, or just listening on the radio as each station could talk about nothing else. I mentioned to Frankie that it was going to be one of those days that people talked about for a long time. For instance, you'll remember where you were when you heard that Michael Jackson died.

There was a comment made by Kaitlyn in the car that right now I am cursing myself for not writing down or recording on my voice recorder, because it had me laughing. It was her innocence in saying it that made it so funny. Oh... I remember now! While I was on the phone with my mom, the Kaitlyn and Joey were messing around in the backseat, being generally obnoxious. Frankie had a sore ear (swimmers ear) and had asked them to knock it off. I also had asked them to quiet down earlier. Well, Frankie reached back and pulled Kate's hair... when I got off the phone, I reprimanded Frankie for the hair yank, and then Kaitlyn said that she wanted her hair long and full like mine and "Mom hasn't had her hair pulled in a long time".

I laughed and said, "You're right Kaitlyn". Then I chuckled again to myself and thought about what a shame that was.

The kids finally settled down and Madelyn even had a dream about fairies while she took a quick nap in the far back seat. She was very animated in her description about her dream. It was really cute.

Frankie was super concerned with every Michael Jackson news update, and then we finally just turned on some tunes and jammed out for the rest of the ride. I called my friend Ansel Brown as we were driving through Charlotte, as I remembered that his home base was right around there, and got the chance to chat with him for the first time in probably a year. His dad lives around Greenville, had I called him a bit sooner, I could have picked him up and given him a ride down here so he could pick up his dad's car to head to Nashville.

We caught up about what he's got going on music wise (do a google search for his name- he's got a fairly active MySpace page and just finished a mid-west tour) and about life in general. To explain how long it's been since we talked, he asked me if I was finally divorced yet. My divorce was final in February, but started way back in September. We had been separated over 2 1/2 years before finally filing.

We agreed to catch up soon and maybe see each other in person and figured that some time next week would be good. He was heading back to Nashville for the weekend, and then would be back early next week. We'll see how that works out.

I figured out where I'll be for the 4th. We'll be heading to South Florida a little earlier than expected, so it means that I'll be able to attend my friend Tyler's 4th of July Pig Roast. This should be a blast. Kids are welcome and they've got a bounce house with a water slide all set up. It's an all day/all night kind of event. I'm psyched to see some people I haven't seen for 12+ years. Many of my old friends from high school will be there.

I feel a little bad that I didn't spend as much time in Nashville as I wanted to, but the whole conversation with Jon was healing and in a way, freeing. Despite our connection, it's one of those things where if he wanted it badly enough, he'd find a way. His unwillingness to try, makes it so our status quo stays the same. We're friends, nothing more. At least the next time I get a phone call like the one I got on Friday, if ever, I won't be jumping. It will be his turn to come find me. I'm not really sad about it, it's disappointing when you realize that's the reality of the situation, but I'm not sad about it, I'm actually feeling like it's a resolved situation. One that didn't have a finality to it before. This time, it does. It's like the door's finally closed there. Who knows what the future will hold. There's a chance that he'll open it at some point, but we'll see if I'm still there when he does. There's a good chance I won't be.

I think any woman would love to have the stability of a successful relationship, and when you find someone you click with, it makes it easier to think along those lines. I don't care what anyone says, as a divorced woman, curling up in my bed is still lonely. I'm a little more used to it now, but the thought of having someone to share my life with and cuddle up with at night, is very much a pleasant dream. The thought of building a life with someone, sharing a home and my life with someone is definitely something I look forward to in the future.

Sometimes, my independence and strong willed nature might not show that side of me that needs nurturing, but you know, I've learned to put up these walls to protect my heart and my feelings. I've learned that life is tough and that 90% of the survival battle is to just pick myself up, dust myself off, and not show weakness. This has led to many people being intimidated by me, which I prefer on a daily basis, but I realize it may also send the wrong message on a daily basis- that I don't need or want anyone in my life.

Ah, well, only time will tell what the future holds.

So now I have to post a bunch of pictures, I'm trying to think about the best way to do that in albums. Right now I'll work on getting them on our facebook page first, then I'll look at embedding slideshows into the blog... Whew, what a whirlwind first week!

Yawn.